The Devil Is in Those Shopping Center Stands
Please stop giving my favorite gift category a bad name. Join the revolution by refusing to ship those disgusting collections of unidentifiable cylinders claimed to be sausage and the awkward containers of processed cheese spreads. Quit giving away those fruit baskets that are cushioned with tissue paper in an ugly box that takes up all that space in my recycle bin. I can find apples and pears that are just as good in my local super market.
You see, I love food gifts. I love giving them and receiving them. But when I send a food gift, it is given with thought and is always high quality; please return the favor. There is a difference, you know, between true quality and the convenience of buying from one of those ugly mall kiosks. Food gifts deserve at least as much careful thought as that after-shave you bought your dad year after year in your childhood–oops, not a good example, perhaps.
Instead of the mostly chemical box from the mall stand, think about a selection of genuine artisan cheese from some cheesemaker who actually understands what cheese is and what it can be. Let’s keep the goats and cows happily employed instead of just putting more chemicals in our food. Speaking of myself, and I’ll bet you, too, I would much rather have a small amount of a real cheese instead of an overpriced huge box of the fake stuff.
A wine gift basket will be a perfect gift for the appropriate recipient. Just be sure that the person to whom you send it appreciates a good wine. Like millions of other people, I haven’t had anything alcoholic in years, because I seem to be unable to handle it. I prefer not to be tempted, especially during the holidays, but my sister would be an ideal recipient. Whereas I know how to chug and pour again, she actually knows how to slowly savor each sip.
We all have a special friend or a dear relative who has moved away. Think about a present of a gift certificate for live lobsters or even lobster dinners. Indeed, after you read this article, I hope you feel friendly toward me, because that is a gift that I would enjoy!
While I made fun of fruit gift baskets earlier, there actually are places where you can order a basket of gourmet fruit–fruit that does not grown in my back yard. This is a terrific gift for someone who is a fitness fanatic or anyone who appreciates the simple beauty that is fruit.
I hope you understand… If you give a food gift the thought that it deserves, stay out of the long lines at the mall kiosks, and hasten the journey of the boxes filled with fake cheese to the garbage bin, which is where they are going to end up if you send them to me. Spend an evening with me, shopping from my home office, using the Internet for all my food gift shopping. Just remember that you’ll have to bring your own wine, but I’ll supply the real cheese.
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