Party News and Ideas

Please stop besmirching the good name of my favorite gift category–edible gifts.  Quit sending the boxes filled with processed cheese spreads that are mostly chemicals and the unidentifiable tubes labeled as some sort of sausage.  Extend the protest to include those tree killing enormous boxes that contain a couple apples or pears.  Those of us who live in the north can get apples and pears with real flavor every fall.

Despite my heretical words, above, I love good food gifts.  I enjoy giving them, but I enjoy receiving them even more.  However, when you send me something, please make it the same quality I give those on my gift list.  There is a difference, you know, between true quality and the convenience of buying from one of those ugly mall kiosks.  Food gifts deserve at least as much careful thought as that after-shave you bought your dad year after year in your childhood–oops, not a good example, perhaps.

Instead of that big brand name box of gelatinous cheese spreads from the mall, consider a assortment of genuine artisan cheese from some cheesemaker who actually understands what cheese is and what it can be.  Let’s keep the goats and cows happily employed instead of just putting more chemicals in our food.  Speaking of myself, and I’ll bet you, too, I would much rather have a small amount of a real cheese instead of an overpriced huge box of the fake stuff.

A wine gift basket will be a perfect gift for the appropriate recipient.  Do remember though that this gift is not suited for everyone.  Like millions of other people, I haven’t had anything alcoholic in years, because I seem to be unable to handle it.  While my sister would be properly grateful for a wine basket, I would not.  Whereas I know how to chug and pour again, she actually knows how to slowly savor each sip.

We all have a special friend or a dear relative who has moved away.  Think about a present of a gift certificate for live lobsters or even lobster dinners.  Indeed, after you read this article, I hope you feel friendly toward me, because that is a gift that I would enjoy!

While I made fun of fruit gift baskets earlier, there actually are places where you can order a basket of gourmet fruit–the kinds of fruit that I can’t find in my own back yard.  This is a terrific gift for someone who is a fitness fanatic or anyone who appreciates the simple beauty that is fruit.

See?  If you give a little thought to a food gift, stay out of the long lines at the mall kiosks, and hasten the journey of the boxes filled with fake cheese to the garbage bin, which is where they are going to end up if you send them to me.  Spend an evening with me, shopping from my home office, using the Internet for all my food gift shopping.  Just remember that you’ll have to bring your own wine, but I’ll supply the real cheese.

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