How Does a Superman, a Professional and a Genuine All Around Great Guy Select a Gift? Read On!

Giftbaskets are soooo last year! Or is it last decade? Actually, I hope the correct response is neither. (Lock it in; that’s my final answer.) You see, I make my living by selling gift baskets (among other food gifts). While I agree that it’s not quite the same as being a test pilot or a neurosurgeon, it’s an honest way to pay for tuition for my grandson. Or at least it would be a good way to do so if more of you bought my products.

I can read your mind: “All of his gift problems are solved; he just gives the same boring baskets year after year to everyone.” How dare you think about me in that way! In fact, I face the same dilemmas that you face during any gift giving, decision making crisis.

I don’t give only baskets of joy to my loved ones. However, even if I did, the choice would still not be easy. At my store, we offer scores of fruit baskets, gourmet meals, wine gift baskets and far more than that, even. (I know what you’re thinking right now, “Please, oh please, just tell me where this wonderful paradise is located so that I can go there to buy your most expensive offerings for everyone on my gift list!” Please be patient.)

Before you bribe me (or threaten me) to share my store location with you, I want to tell you about my own decision making approach.

First, I decide on an appropriate category of gift. If Uncle Milton really has managed to eliminate his drinking problem after a decade of trying, then the wine gift baskets are out of the running. Instead, I’ll opt for a fruit basket with something seasonal. After years of ignoring the nutritional value of what he consumed, he could use a few extra servings of fruit in solid form.

Dear, dear Aunt Mildred is a great wine talker. I don’t think she truly enjoys sipping her wine, but she loves to try to impress everyone with what she knows about it. She loves to let everyone know the best vintage years, the kinds of grapes that are used in various blends and, most of all, how much she spent on the wine you just spilled all over her new carpeting ($95 a square yard). She’ll get a simple wine gift basket, but I’m not going to spring for the champagne!

My nephew, Alfred, recently married his long time girlfriend. To tell you the truth, even I agree that it’s about time. Alfred spent the last eight years trying to decide if she was worth the cost of a diamond ring. (I suspect that he eventually settled on crystal, which, considering Alfred, would be thought of as generous.) What he wants is a check. Well, he’s not getting that from me. I’m sending them a chef-prepared gourmet meal for two. I figure it’s the only way to get that cheap guy’s new bride out of the kitchen for an evening. (They honeymooned by visiting me!)

My second step, after choosing a category is to select a price range that I’m willing to spend on these people. Then my wife makes me double that amount.

My grandson is getting the latest video game system. Let’s face it; he is truly special.